In our society is socially more accepted to talk about fear of failure, and fear of success less accepted (in the crisis is considered rude to even want something, when most have only basic). Many is too strong a term "fear of success" because they do not see themselves as someone who is afraid, and choose more neutral term "evasive behavior". When success is equated with material, fear of success is tied to Western civilization. However, the success of the realization of what a person wants, as for each has a different meaning (to do what you love, harmonize family and work, to be known, to be materially situated, have a lot of children, etc.).
A person prone to perfectionism has a fear of failure, obsessive-precise for fear of making a mistake. Tends to disposal and avoidance, difficult decisions, easier to lose motivation or desire for achievement, not trying to believing that it was better to err. By focusing on the idea of perfection is focused on myself and not a problem to be solved, and it should be the other way around. It is important to weigh the satisfaction of not only the achievement, especially if it is based on overcoming yourself and not compete with others.
In the modern world, the failure of a waste of time and money, and are often imposed by a foreign authority (parents and employers). This negative reinforcement strengthens the fear of failure to the level of phobias. Fear of exposure, the assessment is essentially a social phobia, he can disable the aspiration to success because any attempt to change (partners, work, etc.) Cut into the roots and prevents the expression of their own potential. It is the same with the fear of loneliness as a result of the success ("the rich pay").
Fear of success and failure have many characteristics in common: anxiety especially in situations assessments (exams, job interviews), both lead to reduced efficiency and avoidance of risk; may be a direct consequence of the fear of crashing a false image of themselves. Some people also experience both fear. Many equate success with the state of chronic stress, and have a resistance to enter into such a state.
Locus of control can be external (success depends on external factors such as fate, other people, etc.) And internal (everybody is the architect of his own fortune, success depends on personal commitment). People with an external locus of control have a greater fear of success, they think that he is short and undeserved. Belief in success is not directly related to the fear of failure, those with a strong desire for success does not necessarily have a great fear of failure; On the contrary, many who are afraid of failure elect middle, risk-free way.
Fear binds to a negative perception of the future. The development of pessimism affects families and society as a whole. When we add that "people do not like it when someone is successful," "when the high-flying low fall", it is not surprising that many do not set goals, let alone more difficult achievement. To succeed bind experience that is not deserved, "no man is not burned until dawn," so why not try and incite envy and jealousy. This is especially true for those who doubt their abilities. When you achieve success minimizes the effort or is attributable to circumstances (npr.faktoru luck), I do not accept the compliments or does the unease and guilt. It is important that people learn to acknowledge yourself, to feel satisfaction with the results, and to surround himself with people who appreciate that.
The pursuit of achieving success is one of the main drivers of motivation in several areas: family, career, social life, spiritual development and so on. People reach the level of success in accordance with the self-image. The biggest problem is not alone success, but a secondary, more or less desirable effects. Success involves changes, more challenges and responsibilities. Fear of success is strong because it is mostly unconscious. Unthought of fears it does not diminish, but stronger.
All this may lead to a delay (procrastination). Although a person consciously wants to achieve the goal, avoiding behavior keeps a positive self-image. Thus says the retreat, justification is considered to have succeeded in the attempt, but it does not seem it can krahirati, which leads to questioning their own abilities.
A similar self-sabotage are students of disposing of learning ("I've learned one more day, I would pass"), getting or learning the whole night before the exam ("I've got enough sleep, I would pass"). It is often the "final exam syndrome": a person gets stuck on the eve of achieving the long-desired goal. And the harder teaches worse memory, has a resistance to take the final exam, which symbolically represents the entrance into adulthood full of uncertainty haunts thinking about what business (difficulty finding a job, starting a family).
Not every delay of fear of (un) successful: after deep questioning, one can discover that you no longer want the achievement of the original goal, because there's already taken over the family (eg, completion of college parents wanted), because there is a saturation or has set a new, attractive target (up work within the profession, as a hobby became a profession) or focus on other areas of life (npr.roditeljstvu).
MATTERS face the fears BECAUSE IF THEY ACI is ignored.
One of the main fears is that, as soon as you get hold of the target, the person becomes lonely. It is most prevalent in women of society constantly getting the message about the choice: career or family. Many believe that the time encouraged envy and jealousy, as well as the specific machinations by hostile competition. This further weakens their already fragile self-esteem, do not feel they deserve success and that these positions will not stay long, and they will be even more difficult when they came down from the throne.
Many women, for example, even though consciously want to lose weight, unconsciously sabotage such a plan. Difficult persist because it would create a whole range of (un) desirable situation, they do not have anything to wear that requires new expenditures, thereby to cause gossip, envy and jealousy. Similar is the treatment of impotence, as soon as symptoms improve one partner, the other is worse while making new symptoms (ie, therapeutic Teeter).
While some have a fear of success, thinking it would be unpopular, they will lose acceptance and cause envy and jealousy, others think the opposite and will do anything to be noticed, because in childhood, while they were inconspicuous, decided to show everyone what they are worth. Those with a fear of success in childhood is likely to experience the following: parents criticized them as soon as you make a mistake, they have learned that failure is an integral part of the experience. A similar effect was also observed in the parent who compete with their own children, reject them, get angry when children overcome instead of being proud. These kids do not like competition, because both parents symbolic win and lose their love.
Talented children often experience peer aggression because authorities praise, and less able to believe that they both "stolen" praise and success. It is easier to criticize than to advance themselves. That is why many children capable retreat, sabotage themselves, hiding resources (ie. Abel's complex), considering that most of the time do win, you will love them peers, it is not jut out, do not induce envy. They feel guilty when you reach the goal of watching that do not undermine each other. Many come from families with more or less open competition ban, even if it was in the form of games.
On the basis of the aforementioned fears is that of the non-acceptance by others, so the true tacit agreement with you that the need was fulfilled. Depending on previous experience, the person introduces various prohibitions ("I want you to love me, and that I will achieve if you do not protrude, if I fail" or "only if I am someone and something, people will appreciate and respect me" or withdrawing from conflict, putting the needs of others ahead of their own, etc.). The problem is that such a "deal" based on false notions and beliefs that have not passed the test of reality. Practice has shown that the biggest disappointment, emptiness experienced eternally dissatisfied, neurotic, ambitious people who do not enjoy the fruits of labor relations in any of them have no benefit. The lack of satisfaction after reaching the target is one of the main indicators of the goals were not true. One area of life can not be replaced by another, it becomes clearer after reaching the finish line.
When people achieve success, becoming aware of the fact that the cause of the changes all the time was in her and that changes may occur several years ago, and may appeal to the missed time. However, it is good that the change does come, whenever, better late than never, because real change requires personal growth and time.
The most important thing is to be honest with yourself, accept different aspirations and feelings, try and try to do what he loves, and success comes by itself. It is the same with the private, family life: success is to build a life together with your loved one, work on it every day, step by step. In the end, everything is transitory, many relationships in life are temporary, but there are those that can not be bought with money and worth investing time and emotions, so enjoy them in later life stages.
Visualization techniques FUTURE.
Ask yourself the question: "What will happen if I do?" This question, do not respond quickly. The real reasons may be hidden, it is necessary to give them enough time to rise to the surface. It is important to imagine the success and all that goes with it, which is often not pleasant. It is important to imagine a concrete changes that can proista?i from it. It is possible to further elaborate tehike: Visualization future imagining a catastrophic outcome, tj.realizacijom innermost fears, and their creative destruction in the same imagination. Another version is the recording of fears and their symbolic removal of destruction, crumpling it and throwing paper. After that, for visualization of the succeeding target and its achievement in the future.
less
