Perhaps we tend to take it for granted, but life is above report. What would the world be without the other people? Definitely a very boring and overwhelming, with no one to talk to, confront, understand.
We can be loners or classic pet, it does not really matter. What matters is the quality of the network communication and relationships in which - for one reason or another, in greater or lesser extent - we are surrounded daily. And that quality also depends on us.
Poor communication is one of those things that can greatly complicate our lives. It may seem trivial, but also have a good dialectic does not necessarily know how to communicate effectively.
When we talk with someone, what we send is not only the message itself, the words we use, our verbal style; what comes with more strength is the way we set ourselves psychologically, emotional state, the intention with which we relate to each other in the pass the message.
The influence of these aspects is so great that often ends up being the real engine of communication, dialogue becomes territory for small and large "power struggles", and you lose sight of the core of the speech.
For example, in an aggressive communication tends, more or less consciously, to subject the other person. The goal is to express their own reasons, with very little desire to listen and understand those of others: it is' the rule of "I win, you lose".
Expressive style is unmistakable, and very functional purpose: authoritative tone, rapid rhythms (which leave little room for reflection, especially that of the listener), tendency to overlap the other party, the strong presence of the pronoun "I," rain of accusations , threatening questions, opinions presented as facts and as required duties; all often peppered with sarcasm.
We should not think that this attitude is unique character of base more aggressive and arrogant; everyone (even the most calm!) happens, sometimes, to adopt in particular circumstances, and for some of us can also be a constant and automatic reaction when we live in states of anger and tension; everything depends on how we have learned in the past to handle these situations.
The consequences are easy to imagine: if faced with an interlocutor afraid we will have immediate benefits, being able to impose our will, in the long term persisting in this attitude it is likely that will collect around us discontent, dissatisfaction, hatred, unexpressed anger, relationships based on fear and guilt ... and of course, broken relationships.
Conversely, in a passive communication we tend to put themselves into the background, giving way to another consciously or not a certain power over the situation.
The goal is to protect themselves from danger mentally associated with the event: "I lose, you win (but do not hurt me ...)". In this case the expressive style is full of vague statements, short, repetitive and unfinished; the pronoun "I" appears little, but at least there are frequent references to their duties and the terms of justification, self-pity and minimization of their needs.
By doing so, we tend to run out quickly the conversation (and to escape quickly to the situation of anxiety-provoking comparison) momentarily avoiding conflict; sometimes they also attract the sympathy and goodwill of others, and in some cases you end up even to dominate from below, through the manipulation and / or blaming the other ("You think you win - but actually I win").
However, the price to pay is that the more often the others end up imposing its will, because you can not say no; Moreover, persisting in this attitude, interpersonal problems are not addressed and never tend to worsen, with a very negative impact on your self-confidence, and increase the possibility of slipping, at any moment, in the aggressive style. Guilt, low self-esteem, or simply too much education can lead to living situations.
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