Assertive communication is the ability to express their feelings;
choose how to behave in a given situation;
develop their self-esteem and confidence in their own ideas;
knowing how to say no or to express opinions of disagreement;
decide to behave well so illogical;
recognize their limitations and their inadequacies than a situation report;
limit the aggressiveness of others and spur liabilities;
defend their rights without ignoring those of others.
Assertiveness is an approach that allows us to manage constructive relationships.
It is also a technique that you can know and learn, can be applied and can be verified in the results that It produces.
Often in everyday language we use the term "assert" to indicate a person who submits a version
not shared.
If someone tells us "The policeman says that the light was still red, "within us it is now
the doubt that it was not red.
Assertiveness is exactly conversely, a very assertive person says something, anyone
It comes to mind to refute or question it (Assertiveness also implies authority). It manifests itself
as the right balance between two extreme polarities: from a part of the passive behavior, the other behavior aggressive.
Assertiveness is not an absolute characteristic and steady an individual; Today we can be assertive and tomorrow completely passive or aggressive or less assertive. It is a variable inconstant a bit 'as the mood, and to be able to stabilize and maintain over time and must be exercised develop awareness through with doubt and uncertainty in connection with a feeling more secure about themselves and by listening to the other.
The requirements for assertive behavior
They are:
1. A good level of self-esteem and self-image.
2. Good communication skills in interpersonal relationships;
freedom of expression.
3. Humility.
4. Ability to respond to requests and criticism.
5. Ability to manage conflicts.
6. Ability to give and receive praise.
Self-esteem is the fuel needed to develop good conduct assertive; the love ourselves, thinking
of worth, be sure of their choices and actions, finally take responsibility allows us to be satisfied
ourselves;if we are satisfied with our behavior it will be done in an appropriate manner with the other, while the think of not valer nothing prevents a positive inner dialogue, finishing
for developing with the other, behaviors and ways of communicate or passive or aggressive.
The drawbacks of low self-esteem related to lack of self-confidence are:
• Shyness.
• Guilt.
• Frustration.
• Anger / Aggression (little assertive).
• Jealousy.
• Fear.
• Envy.
• Embarrassment.
• Tiredness.
• Sense of inadequacy.
Essential in communication is the ability to listen:
while the aggressive person expresses criticism and continuously judgments both verbally manifesting so nonverbal and passive overly accommodating and condescending, that develops an assertive right opening to your partner by giving him the right consideration; this behavior is exercised through the dynamics of the feed back that is receiving messages of what is said, paraphrasing what is communicated and synthesizing what is being discussed.
Assertiveness is essential to develop empathy, which means trying to understand the perspective of the interlocutor assuming its point of view.
Some of the causes that inhibit the development of a conduct assertive encouraging conduct passive or aggressive.
They can be:
• The learning of bad behaviors for reflections pipelines wrong in the family.
• Negative experiences that have generated anxiety and depression.
• An education too rigid that does not value the person and its aspirations but simply stupid and practices rules of life (big limit to the development of the component creative).
• The low self-esteem.
• Limiting Beliefs.
• Lack of independence.
• The need to exercise control over others.
The exercise and training for assertive behavior, It enhances the ability to produce communication nonverbal and awareness of it enhances the assertive behavior. The main social skills nonverbal are:
- Synchronization;
- Physical aspect;
- Observation;
- Eye contact;
- Facial expressions;
- Social space;
- Proxemics;
- Tone of voice;
- The volume of the voice;
- Gestures;
- Posture.
Of these capabilities we can exercise our behavior;
when you're on the subway, or in front of a mirror to apply make-up or shave, when you converse with a friend, etc., try to develop, use and accentuate one of the above capabilities and verified the effects that causes on your interlocutors. A good synchronization involves a careful perceptual sensitivity nonverbal, this allows a selection of the events and consequently
analysis and evaluation of reality. Our behaviors nonverbal often instead they reveal the way in which we place resistances both to situations of relationship to the change; these modes can be to:
• Lingering, doing other or wasting time.
• Arriving late.
• Do not pay attention.
• Provoking to break a relationship.
• Look elsewhere and not the other person.
• Leave the room (eg a meeting).
• Being rude.
Still formulate ideas and concepts about ourselves that we limit and create resistance to change as:
- I'm too old;
- I am too weak;
- I am too fat;
- I'm lazy;
- I do not understand anything;
- They are too aggressive in relationships;
- They are too passive in relationships;
- I am too poor;
- I am too rich;
- Not I finish anything;
- I am a failure;
- I am fearful;
- I am too serious;
- I am too light;
- They are destructive;
- They are rational;
- I am fussy;
- I am too emotional, etcetera.
Communication pervades every moment of our existence; what we represent to others (our image) It is an organized language, made of symbols signs and meanings and it itself is derived from a process of "layering relationships "that we have established with the environment
around us and the environment in which we operate, and vice versa (What the environment has produced on us).
The activities related to each other (or subject interlocutor) It consists of a "complex dialogue processes symmetrical and not "that define the balance, the roles and transactions that are established between the communicating. The activity report takes a assertive form when aspects
cognitive, emotional and behavioral communicating through communication generate a rebalancing of self-confidence. An assertive communication is an important mode of relationship through which it acquires an experience "highly design ' between interlocutors can activate awakening the mutual responsibilities, awareness of their own role and its obligations, to motivate yourself to finish on its own image more positive by developing greater esteem.
I hope to be helpful.
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