Hi Emma,
I think you have to try to be reasonable when you're helping your team. Try to set limits. That's my advice because, oh man, I learned the hard way.
Oxymoron: I am one of one of the worst kind of a giver. I give of myself, I give from myself. I have given my last money to people whom I thought needed it more when I needed it. I give nice things to both nice and ungrateful people because I love to give and it feels great.
When it comes to helping people, well, tell me what I can do. I'll find a way to help you...and then some. Hey, if I help you once, that's good enough for me, I will help you for life. Get me out of bed at 3:11 a.m., it will be alright. What do you need?
I have tried to have limits. My problem? I care too much. I want the very best for everyone.
In SFI I get to help people so I love that. Someone on my team needed help, I helped and the "help nightmare" just skyrocketed from there. I didn't mind at first, I was helping. I very much minded that my team member ignored my guidance and refused to do anything once I "more guided, less helped."
In my case, helping was doing (for.)
Once I stopped helping the team member 50 million times a week and I started guiding him more, well, "they" stopped working and responding. Just dropped off like a dead leaf falls off of a tree, never to show up again. Despite my trying to bring the team member back, nothing worked anymore.
I was surprised "they" never offered to give me their password so I could log in, earn their own VP. :-)
I always guide from the beginning but now, when I help, I start guiding more and helping less (for myself, doing less for my team member.) It makes them learn more by doing it and it saves me from being a worse doormat. (Hey! I'm working on it.)
I think, looking back on it when I was asked for help, given that I helped my team member way too much (frankly, "up the wazoo"), what would've worked was 50-50. Half help, half guidance to start, then wean "them" off of the help because I was doing it for the team member. Now, I help, I help you to teach them and if they're trying.
It was a long road but I learned from it. I hope I have helped you somehow.
All the best.
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Hi Emma,
I think you have to try to be reasonable when you're helping your team. Try to set limits. That's my advice because, oh man, I learned the hard way.
Oxymoron: I am one of one of the worst kind of a giver. I give of myself, I give from myself. I have given my last money to people whom I thought needed it more when I needed it. I give nice things to both nice and ungrateful people because I love to give and it feels great.
When it comes to helping people, well,
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